Doubt-the hidden dangers of family life
During the psychological consultation, we hosted a young couple who was introduced by a law firm, and they asked for a divorce without providing a valid reason.
This young couple, once classmates before marriage, after the marriage, Qin Sehe Ming, family members are close, both of them are productive experts.
The next year, a little baby was added, and a happy family was the icing on the cake. Later, no one could explain the reason, but the unpleasant things continued one after another. From the mother-in-law, the children, and the husband and wife . Over the years, it gradually turned into a dilemma.Up. ”
How can the bitterness fly into this happy and happy family?
After understanding, it turned out to be suspicion.
There is no doubt that the family is both a cell and a microcosm of society.
The axis of the family is the couple.
To tell the truth, when men and women are united, they always adore each other, be intimate, and look forward to old age.
However, after marriage, the cumbersome chores, the upbringing of children, the psychological division between the mother-in-law and the mother-in-law, and the pros and cons of work and communication, etc., have all been reduced to the family and concentrated on the husband and wife.
At this time, if the husband and wife are mentally healthy, tacitly understand each other, and coordinate their lives, then everything will be resolved. In the process of estrangement, fostering the interdependence psychology, the husband and wife’s relationship will be like Lu Xun’s “renew, grow, and create”.
On the contrary, if the spouse or one party is unhealthy, their spiritual realm may be overwhelmed by heavy burdens, resulting in coldness.
As a result, the sweet words before marriage, eachother, the warmth and sweetness of the marriage, shifted the days and faded away.
If this mentality can be corrected in time, the trivial friction between teeth and tongue in the family will play a role of strengthening stimulation.
Over time, all kinds of suspicions came into being, catching the wind and catching doubts.
At first, the suspicion of suspicion contained two elements. One was to doubt the other and felt that the other party had something to be sorry about; and one was to doubt oneself and felt that the other might not.
However, over time, slowly, the doubts about the ingredients in this doubt group were gradually eliminated, leaving only the doubts about the other party’s ingredients.
At this point, quantitative change becomes qualitative change, and the regret mentality emerges spontaneously, and eventually leads to tragedy.
After such an analysis, the love light in the young couple’s heart was turned on again, showing guilt to each other.
Remove the hidden dangers and reconcile as always.
We know that remorse comes from suspicion, and suspicion comes from excess self-esteem.
Self-esteem is the individual’s firm belief in self-assessment, and people continue to strengthen themselves.
If you lose your self-esteem, you will lose value as a dog with a broken spine.
Therefore, people should have self-esteem and protect the self-esteem of others.
However, once self-esteem is excessive, it goes to the opposite side, self-esteem, boots jealous, remorse.
Therefore, to prevent family tragedies, we should focus on protecting the self-esteem of family members, especially husbands and wives, and turning excess into suspicion and acting into remorse.
First, as husbands and wives of the family, they must continue to strengthen each other’s learning, self-cultivation, and continuously improve their sense of social responsibility, open minds and noble sentiments; second, husbands and wives must learn to exchange positions, compare their hearts to each other, and stand on the other side to think.Do n’t just look at your own “reasons”; again, husbands and wives should respect each other ‘s independence, trust each other ‘s work and social affairs, and do n’t have any suspicion. Also, once things happen, both husbands and wives must learn to concede and avoid firing.In the beginning, after the emotions calm down, look for suitable opportunities to exchange opinions openly and sum up lessons, so as not to repeat the same mistakes.